Friday, September 4, 2015

Let the Nightmares Begin

When I was going through my first divorce (yup, this is my second time around), I used to have these horrible nightmares of my ex-mother-in-law taking me to court and the court simply gave her custody of all three of my children. Even though she only had a genetic tie to one of them. She only had rights to see one of the three. Yet, she was still given all three of my children.

I've honestly lost track of how many times I've had that nightmare, or some version of it. In fact, I still have this very nightmare to this very day. The custody battle involving AJ was over just over five years ago. It's like a sick, twisted version of PTSD. I hate it. The worst part is when the nightmare morphs into a night terror and I wake up screaming or fighting off a non-existent assailant.

Drawing Credit: rayon2lune.deviantart.com
My current divorce was supposed to be semi-friendly, if such a thing exists. Last night, I had my first nightmare involving this divorce, which I was hoping to avoid this time given that we are trying to go a more positive route. I don't remember the exact details of the nightmare. All I remember is waking up terrified of losing my children and never seeing them again. If it hadn't been 2 o'clock in the morning I would have called my children simply to hear their voices. It's bad enough that I was unable to go back to sleep for two or three hours because I was afraid to go back to sleep. I was afraid the nightmare would begin again. My body finally won out at 4 o'clock AM and I fell asleep in the position I was in once my body quit and gave in.

I had sincerely hoped that I wouldn't have dreams or nightmares this time around. The details of the relationship and the divorce are different. I truly had hope. Looks like it was wasted hope because the whole cycle has begun again.

I don't know if the rest of you have had similar experiences, but I'd love to hear about them. It would be so nice to know I'm not alone to this bizarre side effect to divorce, and perhaps we could support each other through this difficult time.

Love & Support,
Molly-Anne

Friday, August 28, 2015

We are currently under construction.

I know I haven't been posting much of anything, and for that I'm sorry. I'm trying to find a template that I like that isn't tied to someone else's website. No, thank you. I happen to like my location right here, thank you very much. (lol)

Finding a template that I like which is html based is proving more difficult than I thought it was going to be. I had a blogspot blog long ago, and I don't remember it being this difficult to find html based templates. I'll keep looking though and eventually I'll find what I'm looking for. Hopefully. (lol)

Love & Support,
Molly-Anne

Friday, August 14, 2015

Those Involved in My Journey

There are many players involved in my journey as a part-time mama. Some are positively involved. Others I wish were more positive. They are who they are - good, bad or indifferent. So here's the list just so you know who I'm talking about when I mention them in future posts.
Me: Molly-Anne
My Ex-Husband: Kris
My Eldest: AJ
My Middle Child: RJ
My Youngest: Jr.
My Mama: Bliss
My Dad: JM
My Therapist: MaryJane
My Sister: Susie

So now you know the cast of my life. I'm sure at some point I'll add someone or more than a few someones. If that's the case then I'll be sure to keep the list updated, but for now these are the only players in the game that has become my life. :-)

Love & Support,
Molly-Anne

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Where to Begin

I've been mulling this first post over in my head for days. Basically chewing on it like a piece of gum until it's lost it's flavor. Maybe I've starting this wrong, saying the wrong thing but I can only be me and share my truth as I experience it.

For instance, right now I'm realizing that my finger nails are too long to type this post comfortably without making a bunch of mistakes, which is driving me crazy. lol

Moving on...

My name is Molly-Ann. I've made the decision to use pseudonyms for everyone concerned in or involved in these postings. While I will share my truth about becoming what my sister refers to as being a "part-time mama", some of those involved have careers and lives of their own. I'm not looking to cause trouble for any one. However, I noticed when I googled "part time mamas/moms/mothers" there were 50,000+ sites, which is a good bit of information if you wanted information on how to be a part time working mother. If you google "part time dad/father/dads" 142,000,000+ sites that are found most of them concerning this very topic.

So here we are. I wanted to start a blog for part time moms to share my story. That way others like me, in a similar situation where they live for whatever the reason without full custody of your children, have some place to go to know they are not alone. We may be the minority, but that doesn't mean that we don't matter. That we aren't just as important as the part-time dads. We are just as important as part-time dads. There just don't happen to be as many of us.

By the way, I don't plan to only post about being a part-time mom. That title and all the responsibilities that come with it is a heavy enough topic. So clearly, there will have to be some silly, fun and lighthearted posts as well. We are people too. :-)

Love & Support,
Molly-Ann