The use of Day Timers

When it comes to dealing with your ex, whether you get along or not, it is very important to be sure that you have all of your information correct. We are only human after all and it's easy to get lost in life and find ourselves overwhelmed. You also want to be sure that you don't miss anything involving your kiddos - parent-teacher conferences, specialty fun nights at school, important doctors appointments for your kiddos and especially, when your visits with your kiddos take place.

You want to have at hand a calander, I chose a medium day timer (like the ones they sale all year and especially during back to school season), which you can keep track of everything. I also use it for my own personal appointments but you may choose to use something else for that.

I keep my appointments in the daytimer because the shared calendar Jake and I have for the Boys shares aabbsolutely everything you put in there. Including any person appointmeans, which I personally feel Jake has no business knowing. Plus I can keep my daytimer in my purse and with me at allt imes should appointmentes for myself come up. Again, I also keeps Jake from knowing my personal business, and allows me to keep track of things with the Boys.

Not only does it help keep things straight when making appointments for yourself while being sure they don't conflict with your visitations, but it also helps when there if there is a conflict between you and your ex as to when visitations are scheduled etc to take place you are also documented for court if necessary.

Love & Support,
Molly-Ann

Surviving Shared School Functions

Having to share the same space and time with your ex is never easy, unless of course you are one of the lucky ones who has a very positive relationship with your ex. Not only do you have to find a way to share the same space and time with your ex, someone you with whom you aren't necessarily getting along. You also have to find a way to share your time with your children. While you engage with your one another in general, sharing time with your ex can seem an insurmountable task. It is possible.

Firstly, do everything in your own power to keep things at least civil. Aim for friendly and light if you can. Even if your ex doesn't seem open to this. Take the high road here, which I know will be difficult. Don't ignore your ex. Simply attempt to be civil, friendly if you are able to manage. If at any time you are with your ex during the functions simply aim to treat him as friendly as possible. If you absolutely have to aim to treat him as any acquaintance you don't know very well. Be nice. Be civil. Be cordial. Try to keep it from getting awkward.

Try and include your ex, or at least attempt to find a way to share the time between the two of you. I know it's difficult to accomplish this. Trust me, I know. I also fail miserably with this. Try and offer your ex to spend time to your child(ren), essentially trading space with one another. Perhaps if you have more than one child you could trade off at some point. You spend time with your oldest, while he spends time with your youngest. Then at some point, some how you swap places. That way you are both able to spend time with each of your children.

I know it's not fun. I know it isn't the ideal situation, however, it is possible to survive shared school functions with your ex. It simply takes a little work and, unfortunately, a whole lot of self restraint.

Love & Support,
Molly-Ann